How … did we survive to now? I’ve felt the culture tip away from me from the late 70s. In 1981 we had two presidents … sly skinning and grinning Georgia segregationist Jimmy Carter and later that year– super racist Ronald Reagan. I marvel at the Gen Xer’s who grew up in the 80s hipping and hopping to all that Rapping… while the Boomer adults were experiencing a covert style of Jim Crow that undermined the majority of gains made during the 50s through 70s.
“Too Much Democracy” were a set of policies that denied corporate jobs while dumping crack in our neighborhoods. The result was entire black communities being displaced so that white Gentrification could take place. Next– was the mental wars… the Social Engineering that has drastically changed who we are as a people, and as individuals.
Essentially, there is no more, “Black People.” What we have now is a series of tribes… and it’s helpful if we look at ourselves as Tribes rather than one monolithic people. As uncertainty and trauma increased, most of us REACTED in ways the dysfunctional, racist Oligarchs planned. (Similar to running rats down a maze by putting food at some spots and electric shocks at others.)
Some like the Hebrew Israelites and Evangelicals reacted by going backwards into the “Good Old Days” … when supposedly “we was as we was supposed to be”… (times that never happened–because life has always been screwed up… and that’s why people escaped those repressed and oppressed cultures in the first place.)
So the, “I don’t Need No Man” thing became popular after all those young knuckle-heads kept calling women bitches and whores and like the immature pricks they were (are) thought that “Pimping” was the thing to be, right? Of course many black men couldn’t buy a job during the 80s and 90s so drug dealing went up in popularity and the criminality became popular just in time for Clinton’s Privatized Prison’s to capitalize on locking us up in slavery style warehouses. (Funny how that just happened, right?)
Boys need to model masculine stability a father can give. 3,000 years of the oppression of women has created in some women the ability to channel Kali (goddess of wrath and destruction) and their sons often learn all that emotionalism. Black Americans are the newest “culture” on the planet and we’ve never nailed down who we are as a people. We often view ourselves as “Americans” … but .. with black skin. We’ve been through so much terror and dysfunction that we might as well be called a, “Cluster B Culture”.
I’m trying to make excuses because… but the fact is, “I don’t need no man” is KILLING us. Literally. The first seven years of early childhood development demands there be a father and a mother if the child can successfully grow into sexual maturity and choose a mate of the opposite sex and bring a new generation into the world.
Every child NEEDS the father and the mother looking them in the eyes with love and compassion for self-resiliency to develop. Why do some people become addicts and alcoholics and others don’t? Why do some succumb to PTSD and CPTSD? Why is Borderline Personality Disorder so prevalent throughout our community? The lack of self-resiliency that should have come from two calm, loving, parents. NOT THE BEATING AND HOLLARING that results from over-stressed, egomaniacal “Big Momma’s.”
PLESED stop having babies with men who you know damn well will NEVER be a good husband or father. Since our brains are built on when we came out of the trees and lived in caves and women needed a ‘bad Boy to protect them and hunt down food, it’s normal for young women to gravitate to Thugs, bullies, Criminals, etc… BAD CHOICES.
At middle age, we see a lot of divorces and that’s partly because of a woman’s Animus becoming so large that no one can live with her. (Now think of the effect all this has on that son she’s raising and see why so many black women are raising the kind of men they hate.)
To make matters worse is the newest idea that to destroy the Patriarchy, women should delight in destroying any man vulnerable enough for them to destroy. First, if one hurt person hurts another person… all you have is two hurt people. Then the hurt one is either going to seek revenge or be too hurt to help the other when she needs help. Dumb idea.
“The worst forms of Patriarchy comes through
the mother.” — Lesbian writer Bethany Webster
We need– desperately need–to step back from all this emotional dumb thinking and begin to look at how we can loving work together not as some “ideal” from a television show… but as people with a common interests of survival. That means sitting with the hard stuff and turning that shit into gold. Black Americans should lead the world in taking care of HIV+ patients. We should be the go-to authorities on caring for Foster Children. (For one reason–most of them are OURS!) And yes, we “should” have a multitude of innovative Recovery Centers across the nation.
What do we have instead? The same old Churches with White Jesus looking down on us and liquor stores, bars, and now, strip joints.. and Crack houses. IT AIN’T WORKING. Still looking at TV? Still giving your kids video games? If we don’t change, we’ll be dancing into the gas chambers.